A week shy of running for a year and after almost 10,000 votes, we’ve closed the last poll (with Kevin Davies finishing well above anyone else). In its place is a brand new one to take in to account new candidates and the glut of new clues received since the release of TSF’s book.
To vote in the new poll simply select who you think The Secret Footballer is from the options in the sidebar on the right hand side of this site —>
To see the results of the last poll, and all other previous polls simply go to our polls page.
127 responses to “A New Poll”
Joey Craddock!
Or Dave Kiston
I reckon it’s Damien Duff.
Just read the book in a day.
Dave Kitson nailed on! I think one can definitely rule out the likes of Kevin Davies and Danny Murphy, as so many of the things in the TSF book don’t fit these players life story.
On the other hand, some many stories fit with Dave Kitson’s bio. Putting aside a couple of minor details in the columns that don’t fit e.g
daughter rather than son,
Says he supported Liverpool as a boy, but in the columns talks about Spurs loads and also in the book that local lads were signed up by the likes of Tottenham and he was jealous of that.
In addition to usual checklist a few things that stood out that seemed a bit more usual,
Didn’t come up through an academy system. Didn’t do well at school, but father got him interested in literature, art, etc.
American player (Bobby Convey) at his club, who didn’t get the British attitude to football, life, success, money…Really not been that many US players in the premier league.
Despite really disliking and refraining from the serial shagger life that many footballers live, he is absolutely clear that he has been caught doing wrong…Kitson got done for drink driving.
TSF seems to mention a hell of a lot the tactical approach of Stoke City as an example of an extremely effective premiership team. the TSF insight into Stoke City is far greater than all the others, which normally start with my mate at … says. Dave Kitson’s last premiership club. And the stories of the particular manager he fell out with screams all the stuff that went on with Pulis at Stoke.
TSF talks about winning promotion from the Championship.
TSF also is a player that is both no longer in the big time and in the book is looking back at his time at the top level with regret that he was nowhere near as successful in the big time as he thought he could have been. Also talks about investments in quite a bit of details and that he is now clearly not got a lot of ready cash / income. There is a youtube clip of Kitson talking about money / investment for a financial firm and in the same interview that his wife was very unhappy with his move to Stoke (ding ding ding TSF says exactly the same)
TSF also talks about having done a fair bit of local radio match day commentary after being on the sidelines a lot (either through injury, depression and falling out with the manager) and that from time to time he really quite likes doing in-depth wide ranging interviews with a trusted hack. Do we know if Kitson has done Portsmouth Match Day Commentary? Cos we definitely know Kitson has done the kind on interivews the TSF says he enjoys.
Another thing that might be worth looking into is the list of shirt names he gives at the end of the book. There is quite a large range of dates, when those players were active in the premiership.
Sound like anybody familiar? Somebody who has been very vocal about the problems of depression and having to seek help?
Kitson – Wrong Move Almost Cost Me My Career & My Family
“Former Premier League record-signing Dave Kitson, who’s recently joined League One Sheffield United on a free transfer, has pleaded for players to seek help when moving to a new club after his career and personal life teetered on the edge following his switch in July 2008.”
http://www.elitewelfaremanagement.com/accomodation-kitson-wrong-move-almost-wrecked-my-career-marriage-2/
Danny Murphy
to the the to the o ti
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More Dave Kitson evidence from the book…
Talks about in detail about damage caused by players in dressing rooms at Portsmouth.
Once we have tracked from the original secret footballer, we now have “the secret pundit”, who unlike the journos etc, is still a big time player.
“A current Premier League footballer who has been fortunate enough to call the game I love my job, I started out as a striker and feel privileged to have played alongside as well as against some of the great names.”
http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/articles/columnist/the-secret-pundit/
Now, I haven’t read the book yet but if it is Kitson then I would definitely buy it. The man is a god.
Have to say I was a bit disappointed with the book.
Lots of it were simply recycled / edited together bits of existing columns filled out with various stories of what he or “his mate at club x” did on a boozy night out.
Having read a lot of the columns, I was hoping the book would provide some in-depth writing of for instance TSF battle with depression. The original bits of text didn’t seem to be as interesting or as well written as the columns (which I guess was due to not having a Guardian sub-editor giving them a professional edit).
If you haven’t read all the back catalogue of the TSF columns, I’m sure the book is a decent read. If on the other hand, you bought he book after being a follower of the Guardian column, I’m not sure it adds much to ones understanding in regards to inside track of top class football from the perspective of the TSF.
Hmm…newest article says that TSF played abroad, which would rule out the likes of Kitson/Murphy etc…who is top of the list now? Michael Owen maybe?
Playing abroad at a club with plenty of variety in its nationalities, including Eastern Europeans?
Jermaine Pennant? Jay Bothroyd? Although the popular assumption would be that he is white due to comments on racism… Owen could be a shout, but I doubt Real Madrid have the kind of atmosphere spoken about in the latest article.
Oh god, well this latest article has stuck a spanner in the works. Is there anybody who not fits all the major criteria. More and more one has to think it is an amalgamation of footballers stories molded by a journo.
There are very few British footballers who have played abroad, especially in recent years.
The latest TSF article screams Owen’s time at Real Madrid, but nothing else about the TSF backstory fits Owen.
Pennant is so thick he can’t even remember where he left his car, let alone write a regular column / book (even with help of a good ghost writer or editor) and was highly rated from an extremely young age.
Jay Bothroyd, again doesn’t fit the back story of the TSF. For starters, he was another very highly rated academy product at Arsenal, rather than somebody who came through the lower leagues.
Tyronne Mears, Kazim-Richards, David Vaughan, Matt Derbyshire, and Ian Harte have all played premier league and abroad, but just so many TSF “facts” don’t fit their backgrounds.
For everything that does fit e.g Vaughan, lower league background, promotion and relegation to premiership, daughter, far more things don’t…never record signing, back to back POY, coming to end of career, articulate, match day commentator etc, etc, etc
David Bentley has recently gone on-loan to FC Rostov of Russia.
But before anybody says this adds to his potential to be the TSF, the article talks about the move as if it in the past and to boot the current squad like of FC Rostov doesn’t include half the different nationalities of players the TSF mentions.
Can’t be Owen, TSF mentions how moving abroad was unsettling for his son. Owen’s son wasn’t born until after he moved back to England.
I cannot believe that nobody has mentioned Scott Minto. For me, the criteria fits him very well. Lots of suggested people havent played abroad. Minto played for Benfica for a short time. Can anyone give me a reason why it wouldnt be him?
COME ON! David Bentley has just gone on loan to FC Rostov!
Scott Minto retired in 2006
Have just finished the book and wondering if it’s Sidwell.
Big money move -Readin to Chelsea
White
British
Talks I playing abroad-he played in Belgium with other Arsenal youth players
Have just read the whole book on my flight en route to Thailand. As a Portsmouth fan, I have always had my suspicions it is Dave Kitson, and was always my firm favourite. After reading the book, my assumption it his him has gone up even further. Here are a few things which I think make Dave Kitson stand out to be the favourite:
1. The pub ‘Dog and Duck’ is mentioned twice, this pub is located in Cambridge, where Mr. Kitson started his pro career.
2. ‘TSF’ Talks about sharing a room with a ‘gambler’ when on a pre-season tour/away trip, one who definitely springs to mind, is Matt Etherington who used to have a self-admitted gambling problem, and was team mates with Kitson at his with Stoke City.
3. I remember Dave was ruled out back in the 2010/11 season with a bit of a ‘Mystery’ Injury, in which Dave was out for about 3-4 weeks. There was a lot of rumours this wasn’t what Steve Cotterill very nervously and out of nowhere came out with ‘it’s a back injury’. There was rumours things were not good at home, and as the book says, depression was a key thing in the TSF’s career.
But Kitson hasn’t played abroad despite lots of evidence seemingly pointing to him. Also, Sidwell may have played abroad as a youth player but (admittedly without checking) I doubt he would’ve had a wife and family at that age. TSF’s article on being abroad focuses a lot on problems with his son’s behaviour when moved abroad.
Is there anything definitely ruling Jonathan Woodgate out? He was at a small club as a Youth before Leeds signed him. O’Leary could’ve been the great manager to lose it. Relegated club could be Leeds…as could club to replace manager with assistant. Signed for Real in big transfer that didn’t work out. Moved between quite a few premiership clubs. Worked with ‘messiah’ Harry Redknapp. He’s been injured loads throughout his career…maybe sometimes his periods missing were through having depression.
Dave Kitson is a great shout and possibly him, but one from left field…Ian Harte?
Left footed, small in stature, scores a few goals, played in Spain, Leeds got relegated at Portsmouth (maybe the kicking the bath incident), few spells out injured at Sunderland , and he’s a bit older than Kitson who seems a little bit young. His big move could be from Carlisle to Reading or to Leeds from Drogheda United (he doesn’t say that the lower league club is in England as far as I have read)
Woodgate has never been a club’s record signing I don’t think.
Can’t be Owen as never relegated.
None of the major contenders have played abroad, which would rule out Kitson, Davies et al.
Ian Harte – didn’t have same background and in any case we’re pretty sure TSF is English.
I’ve just read the book and find it all a bit strange that we only find out now that TSF played abroad. Perhaps deliberately held back to allow more stories and speculation?
To be honest though this latest revelation makes me think it is more likely to be several players than one TSF. Hope I’m wrong on that though. If its not then the clues are either deliberately misleading, we have all misinterpreted something (perhaps that was TSF intention) or its staring us all in the face and none of us can see it! :)
A surprising number of people have played abroad for small periods on loan in their youth if not when established (Teddy Sheringham and Peter Crouch both did, for example). And Manchester United (with Antwerp) and Arsenal (Beveren) amongst others have both sent quite a few players abroad in recent years, which might be worth digging into?
The article sounds as though it was a permanent move abroad as an established player as opposed to a loan one for an unknown youngster, but…
And though i have no idea how it meshes with all the previous clues, a couple of more left-field people that fulfill at least a couple of clues and have played abroad that i will chuck in: Danny Higginbottom, Roy Carroll, Danny Simpson, Michael Ball, Gary McSheffrey and Chris Eagles. It’s almost certainly none of them, but thought i’d chuck them in the mix in case something clicks in somebodies head!
The story about the champagne war in Vegas mentions his clubs song I’m forever blowing bubbles being played on his teammates iPhone. He was clearly at west ham at the time and so it can’t be kitson or Davies. I’m amazed no one picked up on this. He also references his teammates buying apartments that had been built out of a very famous ground – Highbury so it would only make sense for it to have been a London club. – again I’ve no knowledge of kitson playing for a London club.
Kitson was playing against us this afternoon for Sheffield United.
I tookt the opportunity to shout ” I am Tory” at him but didn’t get a flicker ;))
Reading book now and 5 chapters in. Have half an idea that it could be Scott Parker. His first team was a prem team that played in red and was fairly poor and had to travel to away games on the day (no money for hotels the night before). He moved to a “big time” club which had wags….chelsea. Been a club captain….newcastle, the only doubt I have is when did he play in the championship? Did he load out somewhere when he was young? Plenty of holes for sure, but not a bad shout !
Christian Dailly at a guess…
Wasn’t it just a friend of his at another club? So, a friend who’s at West Ham?
He was loaned to Norwich for a few games when he was at Charlton in 2000. They were in the Championship then
1. Danny Higginbotham played on loan at Royal Antwerp from November 1st 1998 until June 30th 1999. Also at Royal Antwerp were; Paulo Benedito, Sandro da Silva – Brazil; Laszlo Nagy, Zoltan Balog, Tibor Balog – Hungary; Georg Kebler – Germany; Danny Muller – Holland; Igor –Sasa Nikolovski , Dragan Siljanoski – Macedonia. Eastern European element – Rade Mojovic, Zorn Campara, Darko Pivaljevik (Serbia), Aleksander Klak, Andrzej Kubica (Poland), Oldrich Parizek (Czech Republic), Vaidus Zutautas (Lithuania). In fact the different nationalities were – Brazil, Hungary, Germany, Holland, Macedonia, Serbia, Poland, Czech Republic, Lithuania, England, Belgium, Ghana, Spain, Congo, Niger, Nigeria. Which numbers 16 in all. However Danny Higginbotham was only 20 at the time, bit young to have a son at school. He also doesn’t fit the back-story. But he knows a man who does!
“……the dj had to press play on the iPhone that my friend had………I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles is a strange song for a football club , but stranger still is hearing it blaring from a Las Vegas nightclub.”
The iphone was a friend’s, and the song could have been downloaded there and then to fit the champagne battle.
Interesting, thanks spilchard. Though entirely unsubstantiated, i saw a comment from somebody on another forum that said:
“I read an online interview with this chap and he admitted that two other footballers know who he is and both help him out. One is recently retired and the other is still a team mate. ”
Taken entirely at face value, if we assume that it is a trio of people, can we get 3 people between them to nicely fit all the clues???
Higginbotham also played with Kitson for a while, which together might mean that they could they be 2 of the 3? I also stumbled across the idea of Jonathan Greening, who potentially fits a number of the clues and would have been at Man U around the same time as Higginbotham, but they can’t be the trio because all of them are still playing.
I’ll give it a go. Danny Higginbottom fits the Roy Keane shirt, the Dwight Yorke story and the Englishman Abroad. Now TSF reckons he recommended Zlatan Ibrahimovic to a scout when he was 17, which would be 1998. Dave Kitson is highly unlikely to have heard of Ibrahimovic before he started playing for Sweden. But Malmo played a friendly against ex-manager Roy Hodgson’s Blackburn in June 1998. In the Blackburn squad was a player who joined Southampton in July 1998, and went on to spend a lively season at Stoke with Dave Kitson. Step forward James Beattie. Now 34 and without a club since May 2012 he’s got at least one foot in retirement, and he also got married in 2006 when absolutely loaded – “I had bespoke suits made on Saville Row and my wife had a bespoke wedding dress. Her rings came from the private room at Tiffany’s, as did her necklaces and earrings”. Not sure Dave Kitson could have managed that whilst at Reading, and not sure his wife Claire would have fancied it much even if he could, she’s no WAG. So James Beattie is connected to Dave Kitson and fits two more rogue clues nicely. Lets see where this takes us.
On a slight aside – The Zlatan clue is potentially misleading. Huge numbers of young kids at the time could have suggested buying Zlatan, without having the faintest idea even what he looked like. Why? Because in versions of Championship Manager around at the time, he was a well known “cheap kid who becomes amazing” (and so it proved) and bought by probably millions of players. So it could be that the clue was from him playing against Zlatan in a friendly or some other link. Or it could just be that TSF played allot of computer games at that time…
Having said that, Beattie does fit nicely into certain boxes and could tie in very nicely, yes.
In his blog a couple of weeks ago he talks about playing abroad.
Dave Kitson has never played abroad.
As regards the possibility that TSF may have picked up on Ibrahimovic from video games in the nineties, he doesn’t appear to play video games.
Q “Do you play video games and do yourself or other players use the ratings games like FIFA or Football Manager give as dressing room ammunition?”
A “No, but if somebody gets a mark of four or below in the paper it goes straight on the status update of our mobile phone group chats”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2012/aug/23/secret-footballer-answers-questions-live
Doesn’t mean he didn’t when younger, but implies it is a possibility. The quote about the two players that who his identity is in the same article
“My son is seven years old.”
http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/articles/1518/down-the-rabbit-hole-depression-in-the-premier-league/#pages-top
That should narrow it down a bit.
Has Johnathan Woodgate been mentioned?
Jonathan Woodgate
I think Sidwell fits the mate he describes who came out of contract and got set up for life in the book.
Assuming it’s Kitson, they played together at Reading, Sidwell likely hit the jackpot with his Bosman to Chelsea to basically sit on the bench.
I think it might be Paul Ince.
1. English
2. married
3. Has he played under at least 4 managers
4. Has he had a transfer between 2 Premiership clubs
5. Was he a Premier League player in January 2011 – no, but he referred to a premier league contract having no striking clause, not necessarily a current one
6. played with a group of French players at one club – Liverpool
7. Cantona was the striker who refused to move unless the pass went exactly where he wanted it
8. Did he play for one manager for a considerable amount of time who was great before losing it? Gerard Houllier?
9. Has he played for a manager who lost the dressing room – Houllier again in his opinion
10. Does he have a friend who plays for Liverpool – you’d think.
11. Might he think Harry Redknapp is the Messiah? – possibly
12. Has he appeared as a pundit? (TSF probably doesn’t do so)
13. Did he have a long term girlfriend as a younger player? dunno
14. Had/has a strong father figure. dunno
15. Not an Arsenal or Man City player (at end of 2010-11 season). clearly
16. Did he play a match at some point towards the end of March or first few days of April 2011?
17. Not a keeper.
18. Has a daughter.
19. He’s been involved in a last day relegation battle
20. He’s played for a newly promoted Premier League club- Wolves
23. Has been subject to a deadline day transfer
24. TSF is Caucasian – doesn’t have to be – reference to multicultural council estate doesn’t have to mean he was white, he just might not have heard it before
25. Has a good friend who is African and has played for a team in Russia – unknown
26. Has been diagnosed with depression – unknown
27. Played in the lower leagues at start of career – goes against me here
28. Played against Liverpool for a lower league club
29. Was one of the best players in a very successful team – Man Utd, and Ince has never been short of confidence
30. Played for a club that got themselves in financial trouble – Liverpool, Middlesborough
31. Plays the Paul Scholes role – tried at Liverpool
32. Played under a captain who will go down as one of most successful in the club’s history, without having earned it – again, confidence of Ince is not in doubt
33. Played under a stand-in captain wearing a large tubi-grip with a marker pen-written ‘C’ as captain’s armband
34. Has played as captain – Yes
35. Has played for a club who promoted their assistant manager to manager (and went on to get bad results) – Steve McClaren?
36. Not a Liverpool fan – would you be after being junked by them?
37. Played in a team that won promotion to the Premiership – Wolves
38. Following on from clue 21: That team got relegated due to a goal going in at the other end of the country in the dying minutes of the final game of the season – Boro?
39. Clue 38 was his last game for that club – moved to Wolves
40. His wage at the time of clues 38 and 39 was the best part of £100,000 per month – again likely
41. He went on to play in the Premiership again after the relegation in clue 38 – yes.
Looking forward to some debate on this – and the inevitable guffaws from people who think I’m way way wrong!
Report on depression amongst Footballers, with the tag “Stoke aims to combat depression” as Stoke first club to employ former Stoke player and man behind Elite Welfare Management, Vincent Pericard, to come in and offer expert advice on the subject.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/19842659
And who do we see talking about how EMW has helped him, one Dave Kitson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ame5fRMMgY
“No, the outside influence that infuriates players is the interference of the Wag. I will happily go on record as saying that my wife would never dream of talking about my career to anybody that she didn’t know. Furthermore, the idea of communicating her thoughts via Twitter would be to imply that she had an ego bigger than mine. And she doesn’t because not many do.”
http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/articles/1573/twitter-twirps-should-just-shut-up
Put another big cross against the popular choice of Danny Murphy. Mrs Murphy is big tw@tterer and has also written columns discussing her husbands footballing life.
But Dave Kitson’s wife doesn’t use twitter, and hardly uses Facebook. Despite being married for 12 years you won’t find any interviews where she discusses her husband, or anything else for that matter. Unlike Mrs Murphy or Mrs Davies.
It’s not Kitson. TSF signed a pro contract after leaving school whereas Kitson played for Arlesey Town until being signed by Cambridge at the age of about 20.
Also TSF appears to be more high-profile, older and was in the Premiership earlier – he implies he played against Sami Hyppia.
My money is on Bobby Zamora, assuming the ‘played abroad’ story is a red herring. The career history fits perfectly.
TSF was “playing non-league and picking up about £30 per week” when a scout rang his mum to arrange a trial for a professional club according to page eight of his book. Dave Kitson played at least once against Sammy Hyypia – Reading 1 Liverpool 2 April 7th 2007. Could be when he picked up his shirt.
Zamora is from London, TSF is from a ‘small town’.
Zamora did at least some YT at a pro club, TSF didn’t.
That’s just for starters.
I personally think TSF is Kevin Phillips. A lot of hertfordshire boys went to either Watford or Spurs and he’s a Liverpool fan.
Was at Blackpool who went down on last day of season. Did not come through youth system and played at good level clubs (villa e.g)
Any thoughts?
Also Phillips is from Hitchen. A small town in Hertfordshire.
Alan Smith or Kevin Nolan!!!
convinved its scott parker, matches EVERY criteria. deadline day move to tottenham, relegated with west ham. chelsea to newcastle, captain for nufc, assistant manager was roeder or hughton at nufc, easily earned a 100 grand at wham or spurs or nufc
west ham were relagetd when nzogbia scored last minute goal for wigan, redkanpp messiah at tottenham, ameobi wouldn’t move when he was at newcastle
1. Is he English? YES
2. Is he currently married? YES
3. Has he played under at least 4 managers? Curbishley, Redknapp, Mourinho, Roeder
4. Has he had a transfer between 2 Premiership clubs? Chelsea – Newcastle
5. Was he a Premier League player in January 2011? YES
6. Has he played with a group of French players at one club? Cheslea – Desaily Gallas Petite Makalele
7. Has he played with a striker who refused to move unless the pass went exactly where he wanted it? Ameobi?
8. Did he play for one manager for a considerable amount of time who was great before losing it? Curbishley? Keegan?
9. Has he played for a manager who lost the dressing room? Any Newcastle manager
10. Does he have a friend who plays for Liverpool? Easily
11. Might he think Harry Redknapp is the Messiah? SPURS
12. Has he appeared as a pundit? (TSF probably doesn’t do so) N/A
13. Did he have a long term girlfriend as a younger player? MAYBE
14. Had/has a strong father figure. LIKELY
15. Not an Arsenal or Man City player (at end of 2010-11 season). WEST HAM
16. Did he play a match at some point towards the end of March or first few days of April 2011? YES
17. Not a keeper. MIDFIELDER
18. Has a daughter. UNSURE
19. He played with Paolo Di Canio Charlton
21. He’s been involved in a last day relegation battle West Ham Charlton
22. He’s played for a newly promoted Premier League club Charlton
23. Has been subject to a deadline day transfer West Ham – Spurs
24. TSF is Caucasian YES
25. Has a good friend who is African and has played for a team in Russia Martins
26. Has been diagnosed with depression NOT SURE
27. Played in the lower leagues at start of career Charlton
28. Played against Liverpool for a lower league club NORWICH/Charlton
29. Was one of the best players in a very successful team Charlton (won league and were promoted to premier league)
30. Played for a club that got themselves in financial trouble Charlton – nufc?
31. Plays the Paul Scholes role Sort of
32. Played under a captain who will go down as one of most successful in the club’s history, without having earned it Mark Kinsella Charlton
33. Played under a stand-in captain wearing a large tubi-grip with a marker pen-written ‘C’ as captain’s armband ??
34. Has played as captain YES
35. Has played for a club who promoted their assistant manager to manager (and went on to get bad results) Roeder??
36. Not a Liverpool fan Charlton
37. Played in a team that won promotion to the Premiership Charlton
38. Following on from clue 21: That team got relegated due to a goal going in at the other end of the country in the dying minutes of the final game of the season WEST HAM! NZOGBIA SCORED IN LAST MINUTE FOR WIGAN
39. Clue 38 was his last game for that club WEST HAM
40. His wage at the time of clues 38 and 39 was the best part of £100,000 per month EASILY AT W HAM
41. He went on to play in the Premiership again after the relegation in clue 38 Spurs
Post Before – SCOTT PARKER !
Harry Kewell should be in the next poll, all the evidence points to him. x
I think its Joey Barton. What do you guys think, he’s also very articulate and I would say he’s also a wordsmith, should check out his twitter.
TSF talks of putting weight on on purpose so he wasn’t picked, when would Scott Parker have done that? Also, he talks of depression and needing money – no way is Parker in that situation.
I am CERTAIN TSF isn’t one person, or if it is, he has dramatised a lot of the book.
Parker played the first few games for west ham in the championship before going to spurs and played at norwich for two months, but he didn’t get promoted. he did win hammer of the yesr two years running though.. ticks a lot of boxes, but not sure. he also played under glen roeder at newcastle..
i like the suggestion that zlatan was a champ manager recommendation.. hadn’t thought of that.
clue 39.. he played for west hame after that in the championship before going to spurs.. shame though. apart from that he fits the bill
i’m starting to think it’s not one person. or there are a lot of clues that are mis-leading/ambiguous.. the ‘paul scholes role’ for example. nothing specifically says he plays that role.
it’s like the stig from top gear, although that was ben collins, there were always loads of stand-ins for when he was’t around, so he was never the one and only stig, and i know that 100%…
Stan Collymore tweeted at the weekend say Sam Matterface told him who it was and he gave the clue that the secret footballers first names is the same as a local rivalry.
I’ve been trying to work that out since Saturday. Any ideas?
Stan also said “If I gave you the biggest clue to his identity it would be game over, which is a clue in itself”. Slang for ‘Game Over’ is ‘Red Rover’. So the biggest clue is Red Rover. Sounds like a ginger reference to me. Local rivalry has lost me for the moment though.
Thinking about it I think the tweet was “a local football rivalry begins with his first names”. Dave Barry becomes Derby.
You’ve lost me there…
Local football rivalry is Derby Match. Begins with Derby. Dave Barry Kitson. First names Dave Barry. Scrub out the middle two letters of each first name – av ar – and you get Derby. A bit lame, but remember this is Stan Collymore not Steven Hawking. The word he is alluding to has got to be Derby. Either that or we are talking The Old Firm, which lumbers us with Theo Walcott. Who has been sponsored by Nike since the age of 14, and is possibly the least likely candidate imaginable. Hardly ticks a box. Anyway, I don’t think a cack-handed Stanagram based upon a half-arsed punt from Sam Tomatoface deserves to be dwelt upon too long in the context of the wealth of alternative evidence already in circulation.
I think you have thought about that to much already. I was thinking more along the lines of most local rivalries have names. EG el classico or the Milan derby or the old firm as you used. So i was thinking maybe there is a derby somewhere that matches a first name..
Sounds like Scott Parker to me, fits a lot of the criteria. Also I believe he is referencing Di Canio from his time at Charlton rather than Ameobi.
I think I may have figured this out. This player was born in a small town outside london, played in non-league before signing for Charlton and made only a few appearances before signing for Barnet where he was almost relegated and suffered from depression and anxiety leading to casual drug use. Named player of the season for Barnet and captained them before joining Reading. Here he suffered relegation. He moved to Portsmouth where Tony Pulis was managing briefy and the two fell out. Redknapp manages Pompey only a few months later, they are promoted and the player wins not only PFA championship player of the year but also the accolade for his club’s player of the year. Redknapp leaves but returns to Pompey after a spell at Southampton, the player admires Redknapp for his management style and respects him for giving him an extended run as a Premier League player. The player then missed two years of football due to injury and was loaned out to Charlton. The player’s name is also the name of a derby between Romanian clubs Petrolul Ploiesti and Rapid Bucuresti. The player in question is…….Linvoy Primus! Is currently retired, has done punditry and released a book. Played in a time period that fits the player, played for a London club, has played against Sami Hypia etc. Played with Kanu who is well known for his lacklustre work rate and unwillingness to chase down stray passes. The major hole is that he hasn’t played abroad. Any thoughts on this suggestion?
Also to add to this Primus had a daughter in 1997 to a long term girlfriend who is now his wife. By father figure he could mean God as Primus is a devout christian. Played with a large group of French players at Pompey. The club’s relegation season was his last season. The african player who played in Russia is Quincy Owusu-Obeye. Primus captained Pompey in the prem. The assistant manager who messed things up was Paul Hart. Portsmouth were in financial trouble while he was there, Sol Campbell was only Pompey captain briefly and won the cup in that time which explains the “having not earned it” part. Look up Linvoy Primus and you’ll see how uncanny the similarity is, ye sure there are a few plot holes but as was mentioned earlier there could be some red herrings.
Fair point. OK here we go again. Bearing in mind Stan Collymore spent time playing in La Liga I’m going to suggest Valencia, which is the third biggest city in Spain after Madrid and Barcelona. This makes the Valencia C.F versus Levante U.D this biggest local football rivalry in Spain.
http://www.bet365.com/news/es/betting/futbol/la-liga/el-levante-se-lleva-el-derbi-de-valencia
Not suprisingly the Valencia derby is known as El Derbi de Valencia. Take the first 4 letters of de Valencia and you get daVe. This is my last word on the subject!
he’s not still playing though is he? and in the book he the TSF gets called an honorary brother by black players at one of his early teams.
ive thought about this for a few more weeks and still cant see past scott parker, see my post from october 16th. any gaps?
i have also noticed that he said he lost his cool on the pitch before. if you google ‘scott parker chelsea’ and go onto google images, it shows you a picture of him tussling with mikel.
One thing I noticed reading the book is that TSF talks about playing on a team who had a player that would intentionally kick the ball out of play from the kick off in order to benefit from betting on the game’s first throw in.
There is a well-documented Matt Le Tissier story where he admits to this, and after fluffing it up, says chasing the ball to try and put it out of play was ‘the fastest I ever ran on a football pitch’ (I’m paraphrasing from memory here).
K Davies was obviously at Southampton at a point when Le Tiss would have been playing, as was James Beattie. What doesn’t chime with Le Tiss however is where TSF says he thought the player was ‘rubbish’ – anyone who’d spent 10 minutes on a pitch with Matt Le Tissier would never think that!!
There are several Beattie things that seem to fit, particularly from his time at Southampton (the relegation fits, the status in the team fits, there’s a multi-million pound move that didn’t work out, two transfers between Premier League clubs) and some personal facts could be accurate, also the story about a teammate’s pop singer wife (Jamie and Louise Redknapp? JR played in Beattie’s last Southampton season) works.
But the upbringing and early part of his career doesn’t tally.
p.s. and by playing abroad, he could mean Scotland! (!)
He has played for two of the teams that Shaun Derry has!
Game over, red rover, red dog?
In Chapter 4 of ‘There’s Only One Stevie Bacon’, he refers to an incident when Harry Redknapp was in charge of the club. In March 1995, West Ham played Southampton and drew, which caused Harry Redknapp to throw a plate of sandwiches at Don Hutchison in the dressing room after the game. TSF refers to this incident in his book (page 31 I think), without mentioning any of the player’s or club’s names. I think this narrows it down, TSF must have been playing for West Ham in 1995.
One thing mentioned here is:
“I can’t even remember how the argument came about but, with ten minutes to go until kick off and the assistant referee banging on our changing-room door trying to hurry us up, the players and the staff had become entangled in an exchange of views – much in the same way that two players collide on the pitch and set off a succession of separate altercations among the other players on the field.
The upshot? With order restored, the team – minus me – took to the pitch in a terrible frame of mind and found themselves 2-0 down inside ten minutes. Our relationship, which was terrible, anyway, recovered to the point where I managed to “win” my place back – thanks to a similar incident, a few months later, involving my replacement – but the damage was done ”
Can anyone find reference to the game mentioned above involving any of the usual suspects?
Also he states:
“But that doesn’t mean that I can’t do envy. I watched James Milner play again for England this week … there are some things that I’ll never get over.”
So someone who dislikes Milner?
“Beattie recovered, and won his place back in the side, surprisingly at the expense of a resurgent Dave Kitson, and had returned to scoring ways by October. However, a dressing-room altercation between Beattie and Pulis in December 2009 resulted in the striker falling out of favour.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Beattie_(footballer)
the james beattie link looks promising, think its either parker beattie or kitson
James Beattie left Southampton on January 4th 2005. Jamie Redknapp joined Southampton on January 5th 2005.
http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/articles/1518/down-the-rabbit-hole-depression-in-the-premier-league/#pages-top
“I can recall being comprehensibly beaten by Arsenal. That was when a little piece of my life fell apart. ”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/7076652.stm
In the book TSF talks about a conversation with a chairman who claims he is not the owner but a ‘custodian’ of the club. This is 100% John Madejskis comment. Other facts worth noting that Reading got relegated in 2008 on goal difference where Portsmouth got beat by fulham. Dave kits on played with American and French players during his time at Reading and definitely suffered depression.
The only problem is that Parker is far from skint. The last chapter of the book makes it perfectly clear that TSF is financially stricken. Parker aint.
owen came thru the youth team
yes and the messiah could be walter smith returnin 2 rangers and changing round thier fortunes
When I rented a flat in The Dell, Southampton, I was told by the letting agency that a number of flats had been bought by players from Reading.
The Custodian comment is from the chairman of a big northern club which would make it pretty obvious that its Bill Kenwright, Everton Chairman. James Beattie was at Everton and he was also their record transfer.
It isn’t a striker, in the big time chapter, he refers to the newly promoted teams striker…. ‘On match of the day however, both chances were portrayed as missed chances by our striker’
I don’t think it’s Paul Ince, he’s too old. Neither do I think the player could have been playing in 1995. Thats 17 years ago and t5his player is seemingly still playing, I don’t think every story relates to TSF and I think.
I disregard Parker as there’s no way he’s skint, or it’d have made the papers, I don’t think he played at such a low level as TSF. I’m sure it’s Dave. You can have more than oner striker in a 4-4-2 for instance, don’t forget also he doesn’t really make it clear what position he playes for obvious reasons although I think you can rule out goalie
I’ve no doubt that it’ one of the above mentioned but I’m not sure which.
I’m also sure that a few red herrings have been thrown in to muddy the waters.
That said I think Beattie is a likely candidate. I read in one of the columns of him having a bad time after a big money transfer such as his to Everton. His ‘overseas’ move – might have been to Rangers north of the border.
I don’t think it’s Beattie I think it’s a southerner, which Beattie isn’t, also he didn’t play non league and tsf says he did. Also he went to a Grammer or Independent school, TSF comes from Council Estate allowing for red herrings I don’t think those things are.
Anyone considered Sol Campbell ?
Yep
I don’t think Beattie would show such a fondness for Celtic after playing for Rangers?
But Sidwell didn’t make an appearance for his Belgian club. It is made clear that TSF indeed featured during his time abroad.
The makeup of the Real Madrid squad at the time Woodgate was there doesn’t fit the demographics TSF mentioned.
I can’t be Michael Owen for a number of reasons, but the main one being that I found to the book to be quite interesting – unlike Michael Owen.
I don’t think it would be Woodgate, when on trial with Bowyer he was described as “thick as a plank” by his own counsel and he’s certainly not the brightes spark and don’t think he’d be capable of what TSF has done, besides he’s not from Non League background
I think its Andy Reid of Nottingham Forest. Was in the Sunderland Squad that suffered a dressing room collapse, also possibly played abroad in Ireland at the start of his career and was in the Charlton Squad that was relegated from the Premier League. Signed for Tottenham Hotspur for big money.
I’m sure its Kitson, in the book he talks about an old Scandinavian player messing up his stuff and I reckon thats Jonas Axeldal who spent his last season at Cambridge during Kitson’s first season. Abroad things probably just a red herring
Don’t think its KItson as he hasn’t scored against Man Utd. As an outside chance I think it could be Darren Eddie
Kevin Phillips was an apprentice at Southampton and was released at 16/17. Signed for Baldock Town and then moved on to Watford after a year or so. Dont think he played abroad
Giveaway clue or deliberately misleading? P.106 ‘On one occasion I had to get stripped in front of the crowd after the ceiling of our changing room fell in under the weight of water…’
Sunderland v Manchester United on 2nd October 2010. Burst pipe in Man Utd dressing room delayed kick off.
Only four English players in Man Utd squad that day – Smalling (clearly too young?) Ferdinand Scholes and Owen.
For me it’s Kitson or Beattie. Maybe Kevin Davies. I wouldn’t take everything as certain such as he played abroad. I think some of the comments are disingenuous and misleading.
Scott Parker didn’t play Non League, according to Wikipedia. Came straight from the Charlton youth team.
It’s David Bentley. Ok, not all things fit but he got relegated whilst on loan to Birmingham, a team that lost 2-1 at Spurs on final day of the season 2011. Wolves scored a late goal at Blackburn requiring Birmingham to score another. He also famously fell out with the manager at the beginning of that month after being left out of the match day squad and stormed off in a huff.
He was on loan at Norwich the season after they got promoted to the premiership 2004
He joined West Ham on loan 31st Aug 2011
DB is short speak for a derby
Game over = Red Rover Arsenal/Blackburn connection.
He is an ex gambler spotted at Cheltenham with Peter Crouch and Dawson
Berbatov would never move for a ball
Has played central midfield
Has scored against Man U (a hat trick)
Played with lots of French players at Arsenal
Was at Arsenal with Freddie Ljungberg for years(his Scandanavian mate)
He made a very big money move to Spurs and we all know his career went the same way as Carroll’s is heading
Ledley King a very under appreciated club captain
I believe he played under Ramos who never had the dressing room
He has a daughter
Possibly played under Hughton when he was made up to Spurs manager
Reckon he’s a bit short of cash!
I apologise, I was very hasty naming Bentley. I was definately barking up the wrong tree!!
However I’m almost 100% certain I know who it is. I’m missing a few things to totally link him in but some of the games he’s played in tie in.
He’s played against Lpl with a lower league team, been his old club’s record transfer fee(received, Unsure if this comment is attributed to the club he left or the club he went to)
He could have seen Ibrahimavic play
He’s been transfered on deadline day
Been relegated from the premier league
Played abroad
Played under many managers
Suffered depression
Has an African friend playing in Russia
Scored against Man U
Had a very good first Premier league season scoring 9 goals in 14 starts(and 16 sub apps)
He fits in with local rivalry clue
The list goes on….
I can name him but does everyone really want to know? Will it ruin it?
Just finished the book but haven’t seen the articles. Don’t have my own ideas on who it is but maybe to add some wait to Dave kitson I’m sure it was Steve Gibson at boro who said he’s the custodian of the football club. Kitson was on loan at boro for a few months under strachan
I read ‘Paulo’ as Wanchope, not Di Canio. If it is
Wanchope that means Derby County, West Ham or Manchester
City. He mentions David Wilson Homes, which might
indicate he lived in the East Midlands.
Attacking midfielder, well-known, has played
abroad. Had a famous run-in with Glenn Roeder
when at Norwich, being called as ‘has been’
in front of his team after an FAC defeat
against Bury. I reckon it’s Darren Huckerby.
Plus, if ‘Derby, is a clue’ D huckERBY might fit …
I think the American player he refers to is Dempsey. He quotes the player as using the phrases y’all and folks. These are phrases only people from the deep south use. Dempsey is (like me) from Texas, Bobby Convey is from Philly. He would be extremely unlikely to sat either phrase and the Philly vocabulary is even easier to spot than southern.
Think its David Connolly – played for loads of teams including overseas with Feyenoord. Lived in East Midlands while with Leicester and involved in at least one transfer deadline day move (from Wigan to Sunderland). Played under Roeder at West Ham (and with him at Watford?) and was certainly top scorer at Leicester when he was there. South Korea trip could be with Rep Ireland in World Cup and ‘good friend’who was chairman/custodian of northern club could be Niall Quinn. Also must have played for Southampton against Sheffield United in the short time Gary Speed was manager there.
And as far as Stan Collymore’s ‘football rivalry’ clue is concerned – Stan played for Nottm Forest and their biggest rivals are Derby County = DC = David Connolly. Also friend who got a big move could well be Kevin Phillips who he played with at Watford.
sure name it!
Anybody considered Robbie Keane?
What We Know from the article on 26 Mar 2011:
“If Capello had stayed put on the continent and the FA was today casting its net for a tough, no nonsense and successful manager, I’d have said they needed the Italian to steer the ship for us.” – Referring to England as us, TSF is English.
in Derbyshire interview TSF admits the playing abroad stufff was a mate’s experience not his, and that not all of teh experiences recounted as first hand in the book and column were in fact his
The trouble with that is that it clouds the whole issue of clues/who fits what and widens the net.
Darren Huckerby…
Ian Bishop…
Michael Hughes…
David Bentley…
I know!!
after ruling out Alan Stubbs, Andy Booth, Richard Cresswell, Ian Pearce, Chris Perry and Luke Young..I now know its:
JOE COLE !!!
1. Scott Parker.
2. Danny Murphy
3. Joe Cole
4. Luke Young
5. Gavin McCann
1. Scott Parker.
2. Danny Murphy
3. Joe Cole
4. Luke Young
5. Gavin McCann
1. Scott Parker.
2. Danny Murphy.
3. Joe Cole.