For the very first time, The Secret Footballer has been captured on camera. His identity has got a nation of football fans guessing. Hear his answers to those burning questions about life in professional football – about money, managers, WAGs, warts and all. But will he answer the most pressing question of all: Who is The Secret Footballer?
Order your copy now … Or buy the ebook…and get your detective hats on because there are bound to be plenty of new clues in the book.
See the video for TSF’s new book, ‘I Am The Secret Footballer: Lifting the Lid on the Beautiful Game’ below.
89 responses to “I am The Secret Footballer”
Record Transfer for Everton
Quickly became big fish in pond (Crystal Palace)
Coming to end of career
Player of year awards at Crystal Palace 2004 & 2005
Worked way up from lower divisions
Scandanavian friend – Aki Riihilahti (at palace and wrote for Guardian)
Relegation battle – Crystal Palace went down last day of the season
Playwed with a striker who refused to move unless the pass went eactly where he wanted it” – Neil Shipperley
Premier league transfer – Everton to Fulham
He’s left-footed.
So, I thought it was Robbie Fowler, but I think I’ve got it:
Assuming a few of the clues are false, I have narrowed it down.
1. Is he English? (YES)
2. Is he currently married? (YES – To Carly Cole))
3. Has he played under at least 4 managers? (YES – Roeder, Mourinho, Hodgson – Dalglish)
4. Has he had a transfer between 2 Premiership clubs? (YES – From Chelsea to Liverpool)
5. Was he a Premier League player in January 2011? (YES – For Liverpool)
6. Has he played with a group of French players at one club? (YES – Chelsea, Lille)
7. Has he played with a striker who refused to move unless the pass went exactly where he wanted it? (UNKNOWN)
8. Did he play for one manager for a considerable amount of time who was great before losing it? (UNKNOWN)
9. Has he played for a manager who lost the dressing room? (YES – Hodgson)
10. Does he have a friend who plays for Liverpool? (YES – There are a few)
11. Might he think Harry Redknapp is the Messiah? (POSSIBLY)
12. Has he appeared as a pundit? (TSF probably doesn’t do so) (UNKNOWN)
13. Did he have a long term girlfriend as a younger player? (UNKNOWN)
14. Had/has a strong father figure. (UNKNOWN – Possibly Redknapp, Roeder or Mourinho)
15. Not an Arsenal or Man City player. (YES)
16. Did he play a match at some point towards the end of March or first few days of April 2011? (YES)
17. Not a keeper. (YES)
18. Has a daughter. (YES)
19. He played with Paolo Di Canio -removed by public demand (YES)
20. Someone who’s got a chat about ‘another season’ coming up -see revealing tweet post (YES)
21. He’s been involved in a last day relegation battle (YES – West Ham)
22. He’s played for a newly promoted Premier League club (YES – West Ham)
23. Has been subject to a deadline day transfer (YES – To Lille)
24. TSF is Caucasian (YES)
25. Has a good friend who is African and has played for a team in Russia (UNKNOWN)
Pure speculation of course, but I reckon TSF might be:
JOE COLE
it’s Craig Bellamy!
Definately Robbie Fowler
Not Joe Cole, he has better technique than the person in the video. Player looks left footed to me… I would have said Shorey but some of the clues don’t add up. I reckon it’s someone who hasn’t been mentioned yet. . . . .
Anyone know if that’s his actual voice? Or is it a voiceover?
It’s clearly Danny Higginbottham… ;o)
Does anyone else think that his feet look quite small (if that is him in the video?) And he doesn’t look extraordinarily tall (Dave Kitson is over 6′ ft.) His legs really aren’t all that massive or heavily muscled, either.
Could he be AJ? AJ is quite skinny and only 5’7.
He can kick with his left, but fairly sure a lot of footballers can kick with both feet. So not confirmed as left footed.
Pretty sure he can kick with both feet (like most footballers). What makes you certain he’s left footed.
It has to be Dave kitson
The trick done at 1.45 in the video is done with the right leg, suggesting he is right footed
The Secret Footballer is…….. David Bentley!
1. TSF is English – check
2. TSF is Caucasian – check
3. TSF is married – Kimberley Wells
4. TEF has a daughter – Devon Bow
5. Has played for at least 4 managers – Arsene Wenger, Nigel Worthington, Mark Hughes, Juande
Ramos, Harry Redknapp, Alex McLeish and Sam Allardyce
6. TSF has transferred between two Premiership Clubs – Arsenal to Blackburn and Blackburn to
Tottenham
7. TSF was club record buy – Tottenham £15m+
8. TSF was a big flop following his record transfer – David take a bow
9. TSF has played club football with group of French players – Arsenal
10. Played for a ‘Legendary Manager’ and ‘God of the game’ who subsequently lost it – Arsene
Wenger
11. TSF has been involved in an unsuccessful last day relegation battle – Birmingham City 2011
12. TSF subject to deadline day transfer – to West Ham 31st August 2011
13. TSF thinks most successful captain of his club during his tenure was arrogant and self serving –
Thierry Henry??
14. TSF has himself been a captain – England under 18’s
15. TSF played with a striker who refused to move unless the ball went exactly where he wanted it –
Thierry Henry/Robin Van Persie?
16. TSF was at a club where a brawl with bitter rivals which included the dugout is still a touchy
subject? – Battle of Old Trafford/Pizzagate
17. TSF developed his game at a lower league club – Norwich
18. TSF grew up in a small town – Peterborough
Further evidence – the Guardian ran a piece on Bentley in 2008 called ‘The secret life of a footballer’.
Also:
19. TSF’s depression – Sam Allardyce said of David Bentley
David Bentley was suffering from depression on the Spurs bench.
When you’re forgotten at the football club you’re at, you become very depressed. People say footballers are happy to just pick the money up, but they’re not. He was a £15m player three years ago. You don’t lose that quality but you can lose confidence. So we will give him confidence and some TLC and hopefully bring the best out of him again.
The more I read about Dave Kitson and hear previous interviews (and compare to TSF interview on R4 today), the more I think it could well be him. How does he fit on the checklist?
Things like humble beginning, record signing, recent relegation, settled family, well documented “personal issues”, failure after being a record signing, etc all seem to fit. Plus, he is well known that he really doesn’t fit the standard footballer cliché. Kitson is articulate, considered, well read, always shunned the limelight and openly talked about wanting to be a writer (a thing that the TSF was keen to stress in the R4 interview today).
On top of the youtube video, the local rag article saying he is writing a book an extra I haven’t seen posted yet,
TSF loves Spurs / Harry Redknapp,
“I am a fan and it matters to me whether Tottenham win. And it matters to my family. If Spurs lose, the week is a non-starter.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-505036/Kitson-aiming-rock-Spurs-idols.html#ixzz0iheJ1W9S
i’ve read an extract from the book… he was born and raised in london… i’ve either joe cole or nicky shorey i reckon
TSF said…”The background to all this was that I’d had an operation a few weeks before and, as a result, was taking some pretty heavy-duty prescription pain relief. I mentioned this to a journalist and, from there, the Chinese whispers began. My friend didn’t say anything, but that didn’t stop his newspaper from trying to run a story the very next day suggesting I had overdosed on painkillers.”
Kitson reveals appendix horror story
“Reading’s striker even passed out after he swallowed too many strong pain-killers to try to numb the pain.”
http://www.getreading.co.uk/sport/football/readingfc/s/2006205_kitson_reveals_appendix_horror_story
actually not joe cole – not intelligent enough i agree with Dave kitson, it said as a boy he wasn’t as well built as the others… hes still not very well built its gotta be dave kitson.. humble and intelligent bloke too… also saying on the video that he has a lot of money on paper but not in reality… unpaid wages from pompey?
Kitson now writing his own headlines
FORMER Stoke striker Dave Kitson is on his travels again … but this time into the literary world. Kitson is taking up writing with a semi-autobiographical tale about travel.
They say write about what you know, and I guess you’d call it semi-autobiographical, if that is not being too pompous.”
http://www.thisisstaffordshire.co.uk/Kitson-writing-headlines/story-13304190-detail/story.html
“i’ve read an extract from the book… he was born and raised in london” ????
Sure it doesn’t say near London? Because from a recent column is this..
“Football held the possibility of glory and happiness, and an escape from the mundane life that came with growing up in a small town. I played for the best local teams, the county and district sides,”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/aug/10/secret-footballer-undercover-premier-league
Dave Kitson – “Born in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, (which is a smallish commuter town about 30 minutes outside London). Kitson played football for Cambridge United and Arlesey Town”
“He’s left-footed.”
“The trick done at 1.45 in the video is done with the right leg, suggesting he is right footed”
In the Guardian Q&A, TSF in answer to are you left footed, jokes he is equally bad with both.
Kitson gave an interview some time back where he said that he was left footed. To improve his right foot he began practicing taking penalties with his right foot and he now feels more comfortable taking them right footed.
Might be something and nothing, could just be trying to keep his hands hidden under the jumper. However, watching TSF video of him kicking a ball about, I noticed that he seems to naturally has his hands closed into a fist as soon as he has to concentrate on working with the ball. Kind of like this…
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42867000/jpg/_42867593_ab4.jpg
http://photos.independent.ie/gallery/automated/slideshow/Portsmouth%27s_English_striker_Dave_Kitson_%28L%29_vies_for_the_ball_Chelsea%27s_English_defender_John_Terry/0atNbav1CFbJ9?q=Dave+Kitson
http://www.chichester.co.uk/webimage/1.3224070.1320773611!image/2765795859.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_595/2765795859.jpg
etc etc etc
And finally on Kitson…does this sound rather like the TSF attitudes?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2007/dec/29/newsstory.reading
i recon its Andy Johnson read his wiki page all the things add up but it will probably turn out to be Joey Barton lol
Andy Johnson neither comes across in interviews as particularly articulate. He has the David Beckham, like, you know, like, like, like, like, and that…
Now the Guardian journo might be heavily editing what TSF is writing, but in the past few days TSF has done live IM chats with R4 and on the Guardian website. Again, it could be a journo live editing what the TSF is saying, but it is much harder to keep a consistent patter doing it instantly, rather than having a few hours to rewrite an article.
Also, isn’t Andy Johnson big mates with Ashley Cole. From TSF most recent column is sounds far from a fan.
Kitson has never been POTY once, let alone back to back (unless I am wrong?). My money is still on Andy Johnson.
OK Kitson was Reading POTY 05 but only the once, so doesn’t fit unless he’s lying about the back to back.
I wondered about that. What about in his very early days for lower league clubs? And could he be lets say stretching the truth and including the various different POTY that some clubs / supporters clubs / fanzines have?
The other one that gives me some doubt is TSF talks about his daughter, I believe Dave Kitson has two sons.
David Bentley “start” in football doesn’t fit with the tale TSF likes to tell. TSF was passed over when younger and was wondered if he would ever get a deal when he was 16/17 and got his start in the lower leagues.
David Bentley on the other hand was already training with Arsenal’s first team when he was 16 and earmarked a potential superstar.
Furthermore, TSF thinks Harry Redknapp is brilliant and appears to talk a lot about Spurs more as a fan / admirer than a player in the team.
I don’t think David Bentley would agree with that given his treatment since he signed for them.
The TSF talks as if he is coming to the end of his career, has last season tried not to get picked by drinking and eating too much. Bentley is still only 27 and couldn’t get a game due to a combination of injury and not thought good enough.
Reading the book he’s played for Man Utd so I’m thinking Wes Brown or John O’sea as they have both played for 2 premier league teams including United. Wes brown is also married and has 3 kids
Has anyone mentioned Jonathan Greening?
I always thought it was Danny Murphy – clever, insightful, very experienced, a few different clubs – but, clearly not born in London!
TSF talks about the pain of relegation in the piece linked below and how it led to the club having to lay off lots of staff i.e must be a small to medium sized club whose financial future was massively effected by losing premier league status. Brown or O’Shea have never been at a club who have been relegated.
http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/articles/981/relegation-and-the-one-what-if-of-my-career/#pages-top
The same link, I guess it also rules out Andy Johnson.
Yes Andy Johnson was in the Crystal Palace side who was relegated, but although his agent initially tried to engineer a move away from Palace in the end he stayed.
TSF on the other hand talks about immediately knowing that he would be leaving said relegated club, due to expiry of contract and enforced financial hardship due to relegation.
Much that I agree Danny Murphy is brighter than your average footballer, his background doesn’t fit at all with TSF.
On top of London / small town near London, again he was never considered not good enough. He was a Dario Gradi favourite from a very age at Crewe, went with the first team from 15 years old, making his debut when he was 16. Always destined for the big time.
That is just one example of a whole host of other things that doesn’t fit with the story the TSF has told.
Another clue…TSF gave a live chat on Thursday morning to the Guardian. When somebody asked him why he wasn’t at training, he said footballers usually get Wednesday off!!!
Suggests a player who doesn’t have a club at the moment or is long term injured. Otherwise, a) they would be training and b) it strikes of somebody who has lost track of which day it is, a likely explanation being they don’t need to know.
I think the hints, the film and ‘interview’ are a bit of red herring. I have always thought that TSF is not a single person but an amalgam, if you like, of several footballers. If it had to be a single person, then David James or Clarke Carlisle.
“David James or Clarke Carlisle.”
If the TSF is one individual he has been deduced to be white…thus ruling out David James or Clarke Carlisle.
See article on racism in football. Not the sort of article somebody like Clarke Carlisle, who has spoken about his experiences of his family suffering racism in the game, would have penned.
“I have always thought that TSF is not a single person but an amalgam,”
If that is the case, we should be looking for inconsistencies in the TSF back story / articles. Have any been found?
Could it be Jimmy Bullard?
He started off non league, was record signing for Hull City, Loves golf, from London, and currently a free agent. Also a big pal of Phil Brown (it was mentioned he was friends with a Northern manager). Not sure if he has a daughter though!
It must be possible to narrow down his height from that video, IF it’s him. Also I think the shape of the calves and knees could eliminate some suspects.
Incidentally I tend to think it’s fiction. Some of the anecdotes are just too generic and Roy of the Rovers style. “I had a friend who etc etc”. For someone with severe depression he hasn’t half got a lot of friends.
personally i think it is harry kewell
“For someone with severe depression he hasn’t half got a lot of friends” Do you really know anything severe or manic depression? The cricketer Marcus Trescothick isn’t exactly bereft of friends, and is popular with team mates but has had to withdraw from the international team because of his condition. The number of friends or even the nature of close relationships can have little or no bearing depressive illnesses.
On page 211 of the book TSF refers to The Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd which apparently according to an interview I just saw on You Tube is Dave Kitsons favourite record. He fits most of the clues except he didn’t support Liverpool as a kid which the book states he did but that may be a red herring.
Micheal Owen. Relegated with Newcastle
Not Owen, he was apparently an everton fan growing up, book says Liverpool. However, my thought throughout the book bar the team he supported as a boy was that it was Owen. So maybe I’m wrong about him being an evertonian… Or it’s not him!
Andy Carroll, duh.
Sorry but Aki Riihilahti is not Scandinavian. He is Finnish and as we’re all aware, while Finland is indeed a nordic country it is not part of Scandinavia.
Not sure if this can help you guys, but notice how he covers his whole body. Now if there were no telltale signs on his hands and legs why cover them? I’m thinking possible tattoos or otherwise. Ofc he could just be careful not to disclose the color of his skin or hair.
Good luck guessing!
Could it be because at Portsmouth he knew he was just about to confirm cancelling his contract?
Read the book, then read this 2008 article.
http://weekendwonders.co.uk/news/story.aspx?id=43
Jmes Beattie anyone?
James Beattie
After finishing the book and reading that article i think it must be Dave Kitson.
Just to add fuel to the Dave Kitson fire. Early in the book he mentions that at his first pro club, a Scandinavian player threw his clothes down the hall. Jonas Axeldal was at Cambridge around 2000, the same time Kitson joined them.
I’ve read the book and tried to imagine Dave Kitson as the secret footballer. A lot of the clues do suggest it could be him, but there are some stories and comments he makes that cast doubt in my opinion. The stories about going to the Barcelona party seem like, with all due respect to Dave Kitson, that he’s a bigger player.
He makes a comment at the end of the book about how he’s adored at some grounds while at others absolutely hated, or words to that effect, and again with respect to Kitson, he’s not really the sort of player that’s ever divided opinion too much. My general feeling that I got from the book is that he’s a more well-known and bigger player than Kitson.
I personally think James Beattie is a good call. He’s more well-known than Kitson and played for bigger clubs and generally had more of a profile. Again, as is mentioned in the book, Kitson doesn’t seem like the sort of player who people hassle too much when he’s out and try and start fights etc.
Not sure if this will help but notice how he has his legs covered and arms aswell, he likely has either some revealing body marks or possibly some tattoos.
Its becoming fairly clear it’s Andy Johnson. Nice one, Andrew.
Its becoming fairly clear it’s Andy Johnson. Nice one, Andrew.
Hat said. There is a big clue in a book about the length of his surname (KITSON) and that he hit a left footed volley at an annoying spectator.
Oops. that said. And either AJ or DK.
In his latest article, he describes playing abroad. None of those mentioned above has played in a foreign club, to my knowledge. TSF has older children whom he used to drive to private schools, so they’re not toddlers. Some of the above mentioned have very young children.
its quite obvious he is of ethnic origin, why else would he be wearing ‘leggings’, ‘long sleeved tops’ and keep his face colour a secret?
I think it’s Kevin Phillips, started off in non-league, baldock town, had failed trials as a kid, player if year twice at Sunderland, Peter Reid lost it towards the end, relegated at Sunderland and played for numerous premier league clubs. Is also a television pundit as well now
Dave Kitson, as with lots of ginger gringos, has loads of freckles on his arms, and probably his legs. Covering up would be essential, but conveniently it also keeps the speculation going about his ethnicity.
need to start and think logically, says he played at a club with macedonians, brazilians, hungarians, dutch and germans at the same time while playing abroad. he is english but has never played for his country as well.
scott minto anyone?
Danny Higginbotham, 1998-99 at Royal Antwerp. Played with players from 16 different countries including those above, and a large Eastern European contingent. Details in my post in ‘A New Poll’.
Johnson fits most of the clues, but Palace weren’t relegated with a late goal at the other end of the Country. They were down due to their own result.
It’s not Dave Kitson, too small to be him, no daughter, no medals,hasn’t played abroad
It’s not Kevin Davies, too small to be him,no medals,hasn’t played abroad
It’s not David Bentley, too young
It can’t be anyone that started at a premier league club so no joe cole,Danny murphy etc
I reckon he started playing between 96-00 so any clubs in prem then, it isn’t a player from there.
I don’t think it’s any of the leading candidates at all.
It’s going to be someone who plays for a club in the mid to higher section now of the league, eg Newcastle,Everton,Fulham,Sunderland,Aston villa
My money is on Andrew Johnson
All the clues point to him and you have to listen to what tsf says.
Daughter
Started out lower
Big money signing
Relegated on last day
Injuries
Can’t remember all of them but its him
It’s lee bowyer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejw2n5bv_lo It is Kitson
Would your Premier League stars be able to hack the brutal Sunday game?
No, simply because in the Premier League tackling is dead. If you tackle someone, you are deemed weak. It is the English mentality to have a good go, whereas the continentals adopt this ethos where no player is going to get anywhere near them to be able to put a tackle in. Look at Cesc Fabregas; it is criminal someone that young is that good, but when was the last time he was crunched? You can’t get near him! Even when you see a Flamini, or a Makelele making a tackle, it’s more of a block with the body. Tackling as we remember it is no longer an option.
The Above Q and A is verbatim (or near as) to comments made in TSF the point about tackling being dead and it weak to tackle is in TSF.
Paul robinson,………..thought it was kitson…..but think its aj rally
“Most players leave the game and decide they don’t want to coach. That’s a massive waste of knowledge and it also affects our future national team.”
DINGDINGDINGDING
well if it isn’t kitson it’s someone who is picking quotes from other footballers such as Kitson to cover his tracks. In which case all the clues are a waste of time, tricks shown with his right foot might just as well be mirrored video, etc, etc.
Its David Connolly
It’s Graham Hyde. Current assistant manager of AFC Telford United
Well I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.
Andrew johnson doesnt have a daughter
Oracle3001. That was so you couldn’t see what colour skin his hands were.
He had 6 “*”s, I think that was a random amount or:
KITSON – 6
DAVIES – 6
MURPHY – 6
CROUCH – 6
SHOREY – 6
I think he’s JOEY BARTON!
It’s defo Kitson – That article with Kitson is worded so similarly. And he was hated at Pompey for “not trying” when it sounds like that was when he was suffering pretty bad with depression. didn’t want to be picked, put on weight. Also, i think Kitson was training with the youth there for a while.
How can no one thought of it being Jimmy Bullard
It is so obviously Kasey Keller.
So it’s agreed that the “secret footballer” writes intelligently and insightfully about the game and has help from a professional journalist.
I haven’t looked at all the evidence and quotes that many have.
However, I reckon he’ll probably be intelligent enough or have been advised to throw in a few red herrings. He might be still playing, he might have already retired. He might have borrowed stories from other teammates and passed them off as his own. I wouldn’t be surprised if the players who have been discounted, shouldn’t have been.
It doesn’t take much for an Arsenal/Man City player to say they voted for Tevez. To change the nationality of a foreign player or two. It’s probably not even him in the video doing keepy uppys.
Of course, the alternative is that there is no secret football, it’s just fiction created by someone from inside football by cobbling stories together.
The tsf has already played for liverpool,so i think it is robbie fowler. Already been relegated too.
Robbie fowler has already been captain of the youth team and already won serveral awards for best premierechip player (tsf mentionned it in his first book, chapter 10).